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How to handle a heckler…

April 16th, 2012 | Posted by Eugene Son in Dwayne McDuffie Stories

Once Dwayne and I were just chatting about various topics and I mentioned a recent survey regarding American attitudes towards interracial dating. The discussion turned specifically to the survey’s findings regarding the views of African-American women towards interracial dating.

Then Dwayne dropped this great story on me.

He was living in New York and was walking on the street with his girlfriend, who was white. Walking in the opposite direction were three friends – young African-American women. As they passed Dwayne and his girlfriend, one of the women muttered loudly, “So sick of brothers and their jungle fever.”

Dwayne stopped, turned around, and said, “Excuse me?”

The three women stopped. Two of them were clearly embarrassed by the actions of their friend, but the woman wasn’t backing down. She stood there and glared at Dwayne.

What to do? Dwayne did the only thing that seemed appropriate.

Dwayne exclaimed, “Oh my god, you’re right! I’m black. I need to date a black woman.”

Dwayne turned to his girlfriend and said, “I need to break up with you. I’m sorry.”

Then Dwayne turned to the black woman and asked, “So do you want to move into my apartment? Or should I move into yours? My place is pretty small, so we should move into yours.”

The woman’s glare disappeared. It was replaced by a stunned expression.

Dwayne continued, “It’ll be fine. Because you’re black and I’m black. Oh, and my mother will be really happy. I can’t wait for you to meet her. I’m sure you two will get along great.”

The woman tried to speak, “But… but…”

Dwayne continued, “Oh, and I hope you like [particular sex act]. Because I just LOVE [particular sex act]. I can’t get enough of it. I need [particular sex act] all the time. Like ALL the time. But I’m sure it’ll be fine because you’re black and I’m black.”

The woman didn’t know what to say and stood there dumbfounded. Her two friends were laughing hysterically – pointing at her and egging Dwayne on with, “Yeah!” and “You tell her!”

Dwayne paused, but the woman had nothing to say, so he decided it’d gone long enough.

“On second thought, I don’t think it’s going to work out. I’m going to stick with my current girlfriend. I hope you understand.”

The woman nodded, then left with her friends – who were still laughing at her.

I don’t know why I’m writing this story up, except that it’s a story that Dwayne told me. I suppose this story sticks with me because it started out as an intelligent discussion with Dwayne about attitudes towards race… and it ended with a joke about getting a lot of [particular sex act].