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The Halle Berry Story…

May 27th, 2013 | Posted by Eugene Son in Dwayne McDuffie Stories

With the new Star Trek movie out, this seemed like a good time to finally write this one down.

Here it is. I don’t want to over-hype this, but we’ve held off telling this story for a while. This is one of Dwayne’s most memorable stories. This is the famous one.

This is the “When Dwayne met Halle Berry” story.

As everyone knew, Dwayne was a big Star Trek fan. Some of his writings on Star Trek can be found in his columns, STAR TREK, The Original Series, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, and More Star Trek Movies.

The year was 1991. Dwayne was living in New York City, working in comic books. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country was due to be released in December. Dwayne was eagerly looking forward to seeing it.

Then he got a call from a friend who had an in. The New York City premiere of Star Trek VI was coming, and he could try to find a way to get Dwayne in. Of course Dwayne was interested.

So the night of the premiere came, and while Dwayne’s friend wasn’t able to get him an official invite, he was able to sneak Dwayne into the theater. Once in, Dwayne went upstairs to the balcony, found himself a seat, and sat down. No one had asked to see his invitation. The perfect plan. All Dwayne had to do was sit there without being discovered and he would get to see the new Star Trek movie before anyone else.

As Dwayne waited patiently for the new Star Trek movie to begin, a few rows in front of him, two women entered and took seats. One of the women: HALLE BERRY.

hb

Now this was before Boomerang had come out and made Halle Berry a household name. But even before then, there was still a lot of buzz about Halle Berry being the next big thing. She’d been in movies and television, and, oh by the way, she was stunningly gorgeous.

So Halle Berry and her even HOTTER-looking friend were there for the Star Trek movie. Before the movie began, the two turned around and LOOKED AT DWAYNE, then turned back around.

A moment later, Halle Berry and her friend turn around and look at him again. This time GIGGLING and pointing.

Now Dwayne is starting to get worried. People around him have noticed and now are looking at him. Dwayne starts to sink in his seat. He’s not supposed to be here and if anyone asks to see his invite, he’ll be kicked out. All he has to do is not get noticed and he’ll get to see Star Trek. But now Halle Berry and her friend keep staring at him.

Halle Berry turns around again. BIG smile on her face.

HALLE BERRY

I’m sorry to bother you, Mr. Dorn. I’ve always had a huge crush on you and I’m a huge fan.

Beat.

DWAYNE

(softly, trying to keep a low profile)

I’m sorry. I’m not Michael Dorn.

HALLE BERRY

You don’t have to lie. I know who you are.

DWAYNE

I’m not Michael Dorn.

Halle Berry’s smile fades. Now looks angry. She turns around and talks animatedly with her friend. Dwayne hopes this is over.

Halle Berry turns around again.

HALLE BERRY

I don’t know why you’re acting like this. You’re OBVIOUSLY Michael Dorn.

DWAYNE

(pleading)

I am telling you. I am NOT Michael Dorn.

Pictured: Michael Dorn. Not Pictured: Dwayne McDuffie.

Pictured: Michael Dorn. Not Pictured: Dwayne McDuffie.

So the theater goes dark and the movie begins. Dwayne breathes a sigh of relief. No one is going to ask him for his invite now. Not unless…

The movie begins. Everyone is watching...

...when Halle Berry turns around again.

HALLE BERRY

I can’t believe I had a crush on you! You’re a real jerk, you know that?

Everyone in the balcony is now watching Halle Berry and Dwayne.

DWAYNE

I AM NOT MICHAEL DORN!

HALLE BERRY

YOU BETTER NOT BE IN THIS MOVIE! I SWEAR, YOU BETTER NOT BE IN THIS MOVIE!

The movie goes on. Dwayne watches the movie. But every few minutes, Halle Berry and her friend turn around to glare at Dwayne, muttering things like, “I know. Can you BELIEVE the way he’s being?”

Then we reach this point of the movie-

Kirk and McCoy

If you’ve seen Star Trek VI, this is when Kirk and McCoy are on trial. They’re accused by the Klingons of murder, and their court-appointed attorney steps onto screen. Their Klingon attorney, portrayed by…

You know? I can maybe see a passing resemblance from Halle Berry's point of view. In a movie theater...

You know? I can maybe see a passing resemblance from Halle Berry’s point of view. In a movie theater…

Halle Berry leaps to her feet, turns around, and points accusingly at Dwayne.

HALLE BERRY

I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WERE IN THIS MOVIE! YOU ARE SUCH A PHONY--

DWAYNE

SIT!! DOWN!!

With that, Halle Berry and her friend got up and left the theater in a huff. Dwayne got through the rest of the movie without getting caught. Halle Berry presumably never finished watching Star Trek VI. And Dwayne had a great story to tell afterwards.

But this being Dwayne, of course there’s a great epilogue that took place years later.

Flash forward to Los Angeles. Working on Justice League Unlimited. The voice of Kalibak is voiced by Michael Dorn. So after the record, Dwayne talks to him.

Michael Dorn listens politely – nods, but doesn’t react as he listens. Dwayne finishes explaining how Halle “one of the most gorgeous women in the universe” Berry had a huge crush on Michael Dorn. Until Dwayne ruined it. And Dwayne apologizes that Halle “one of the most gorgeous women in the universe” Berry now hates Dorn and it’s all Dwayne’s fault.

Finally...

MICHAEL DORN

(in Klingon voice)

I’VE KILLED MEN FOR LESS THAN THAT!

Of course Dorn was kidding. He thought the story was hilarious. I mean, wouldn’t you find it hilarious if one of the most gorgeous women in the universe no longer had a crush on you, but was actually now angry at you, because of a misunderstanding? Okay, maybe not.

All this because Dwayne McDuffie wanted to see Star Trek VI early…

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STATIC SHOCK! : Rebirth of The Cool #4

April 29th, 2013 | Posted by Eugene Son in Scripts

An excerpt from Dwayne’s script for Static Shock! #4 – Rebirth Of The Cool titled, “Places Left Unfinished At The Time Of Creation”.

This is from his First Draft, dated August 3, 2000. There are some unusual notes in this script – such as the “[ed." on page 11. It's not clear if these were notations that Dwayne made in this first draft to be changed later - or if perhaps the data file has gotten corrupted. Either way, the text is presented below unchanged from Dwayne's first draft document.

Page 1

SPLASH

Similar to last issue, page 22. In the CHAMBER OF HORRORS. STATIC is looking at HARDWARE’S corpse in shock. POWER JUNKIE stands over Hardware’s smoldering body. It’s cut in two.

LEGEND

(typeset)

"The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they suppress." --Frederick Douglass

LOGO

MILESTONE COMICS PRESENTS

LOGO

STATIC SHOCK!

TITLE

"Places Left Unfinished At The Time Of Creation"

CREDITS

Dwayne McDuffie - Writer and Editor

John Paul Leon - Artist

Melissa Edwards - Colorist and Separator

John Workman - Letterer

POWER JUNKIE

So much for the Calvary.

STATIC

You killed Hardware.

POWER JUNKIE

Yes, Static. I did.

CREDITS

STATIC created by McDuffie, Dingle, Cowan and Davis

INDICIA

[LEAVE SPACE]

Page 2

Panel 1

Angry Static fires a huge, two handed electrical bolt.

STATIC

(burst)

Nooooo!

SFX

ZZZRRRRAK

Panel 2

Power Junkie casually blocks the bolt with a FORCE FIELD.

POWER JUNKIE

That would have hurt.

POWER JUNKIE

No need for the disguise any longer, I suppose.

Panel 3

Power Junkie bursts out of his clothes, transformed into his NEW COSTUME and appearance.

SFX

(clothes bursting)

rRRRIPPPPP

POWER JUNKIE

The blood of your fellow bang babies did more than just heal me, it changed me--

Panel 4

Closer on Power Junkie, his eyes are glowing, crackling with power.

POWER JUNKIE

You have no idea how much power --how many powers I now posses.

Panel 5

Static, flying on his disk, dodges the deadly EYE BEAMS from Power Junkie. Power Junkie is fading out in his TELEPORTATION EFFECT.

POWER JUNKIE

Energy Projection.

SFX

ZZZZZOKKKK

Page 3

Panel 1

Power Junkie is teleporting in right behind Static, he’s grabbed him from behind, by the collar. Static’s forward motion is stopped, his disk is still going.

POWER JUNKIE

Teleportation.

STATIC

(burst)

Wha!?!

Panel 2

Power Junkie flings Static through the air and across the room.

POWER JUNKIE

Super strength.

STATIC

Ahhhhh!

Panel 3

Entire second tier. Power Junkie’s speed lines zip from where he was just standing, right past Static (still flying through the air), and coming to a stop right where Static is headed.

POWER JUNKIE

Super speed.

Panel 4

Power Junkie is holding up one hand, projecting an energy field that wraps around Static and suspends him helplessly in mid-air. Static is in pain, as if being crushed.

POWER JUNKIE

Telekinesis.

STATIC

Nnnnnnn...

Panel 5

On Static, struggling in vain against the energy bands.

POWER JUNKIE

Pyrokinesis. Flight. Agility. Weather Control, Shapeshifting. Time Travel. Enhanced Healing. Invisibility. Energy and Matter manipulation.

Page 4

Panel 1

Favoring Power Junkie, gesturing with his energy projecting hand.

POWER JUNKIE

All the powers of any bang baby whose blood I’ve tasted is at my command. I’ve barely scratched the surface of my abilities.

Panel 2

On Static, sweating, looking very bad.

POWER JUNKIE

But we appear to have reached the limits of yours.

Panel 3

On both. Static’s hands begin to crackle with power.

POWER JUNKIE

Still, your electrical talents will make an interesting addition to my collection.

STATIC

You want a taste of m-my powers?

Panel 4

Static fires a huge lightning bolt.

STATIC

(burst)

You got it!

SFX

ZZZRAK

Panel 5

Static’s electrical bolt passes harmlessly through Power Junkie’s semi-transparent body.

POWER JUNKIE

Intangibility.

Panel 6

Static’s lightning bolt strikes the wall where WISE SON is pinned, shattering his bonds. Power Junkie is partially turned to see what happened.

STATIC

Overconfidence.

SFX

SHRRAAKK

POWER JUNKIE

Eh? Wise Son?

Page 5

Panel 1

Wise Son strains against his bonds, his muscles swelling.

WISE SON

You son of a bitch! Sucking us dry. Holding us against our will. It ain’t right!

Panel 2

Wise Son tears free of his bonds and is leaping down, his blood tubes trailing from his body.

WISE SON

What are you thinking? Some of the guys in here ain’t even Bang Babies! You don’t even need them!

Panel 3

Power Junkie catches Wise by the throat in mid-leap.

WISE SON

>Gack<

POWER JUNKIE

True. But I may find a use for them later. Waste not, want not.

Panel 4

Power Junkie has opened his hand and is telekinetically levitating a struggling Wise Son back up to the wall.

POWER JUNKIE

You belong to me. All of you do. Not because it’s right. But because I can.

WISE SON

Arrrrgh!

Panel 5

Wise Son struggles against the wall. Power Junkie lifts one of Wise’s thick blood tubes in his fist.

POWER JUNKIE

My continued existence depends on you --and many more like you.

Panel 6

Power Junkie is pouring Wise son’s blood into his open mouth. The blood overflows and pours down his chin and onto his chest.

POWER JUNKIE

I’ll never let you go.

Page 6

Panel 1

On Static, watching the off-panel action in horror.

STATIC

Oh, no!

Panel 2

Wider, Static bursts free of Power Junkie’s energy with a SURGE OF ELECTRICITY.

STATIC

(burst)

Nooooo!

SFZ

SHZZZZRAK

Panel 3

Static has dropped to the floor. On hands and knees, he reaches out with one hand. His flying disk is heading towards him.

STATIC

(thought)

Gotta get out of here...

Panel 4

Background Static flies out of the room, foreground Power Junkie is still drinking blood, oblivious.

STATIC

(thought)

Maybe I can find Xombi, or get Icon to come back and help.

Panel 5

Static flies towards the camera, he’s just entered a cavernous chamber.

STATIC

(thought)

Maybe...

STATIC

Geez...

Page 7

Panel 1

Big panel, establishing TOWER’S TROPHY ROOM. It should evoke the Batcave and Superman’s Fortress of Solitude. The room is filled with Display Cases and trophies from John Tower’s career. Like the Batcave’s Dinosaur, the room is dominated by a GIANT RAT. Instead of the giant coin, there is an equally large DAKOTA SUBWAY TOKEN (the token reads, “Dakota Token” and “Good for one” although we can’t yet read all of this). By no means do you have to work all of this stuff into this panel, but I’d like to see it all in the sequence that begins on page 13. I’ll make suggestions as to where you can place items. Ignore me if you have a better idea.

Other items around the room include; a black LAWN JOCKEY, carrying what looks suspiciously like Green Lantern’s Power Battery; A STATUE of two planets crashing into each other, as in the Worlds Collide ads (they are the DC bullet and the Milestone “M”, rendered as planets, but we can never quite make that out); Tower Girl and Kid Tower’s costumes hanging empty in GLASS CASES, ala Batman; a brass URN, inscribed “Fair Play”; a glass case with a girl pirate in it labeled “ADVENTURE OF PIRATE JUDY.”

STATIC

...Some people never throw anything away...

Panel 2

Static flies out of the chamber.

STATIC

(thought)

I think this is the way out.

Panel 3

Angle on TRAFFIC MAN #2 from issue # 3 is prominent standing at the front of a dozen or so more TRAFFIC MEN.

TRAFFIC MAN #2

Hello, Static. Remember me?

Panel 4

New Angle, Static facing off with Traffic Man #2. Other Traffic Men stand at the ready.

STATIC

[.

TRAFFIC MAN #2

Yep. And guess who just stepped in it.

Panel 5

Flying Static dodges blasts from the staves of several Traffic Men while firing a bolt back at them.

TRAFFIC MAN #2

This time you can forget about electrocuting us with our staffs. These are insulated.

Page 8

Panel 1

Wide. Virgil is surrounded on all sides and from above and below.

TRAFFIC MAN #2

Thanks to you, I haven’t had a hit in over a day.

STATIC

C’mon up here, I’ll hit you right now.

Panel 2

Favoring Traffic Man #2.

TRAFFIC MAN #2

Brave talk. You’re outnumbered and surrounded. If you got another card up your sleeve, it better be an ace.

Panel 3

Big Panel. New angle, HARDWARE bursts into the room through the ceiling. He’s firing away from both fists.

SFX

CHOOM

TRAFFIC MAN

(burst)

Hardware!!

HARDWARE

(signature balloons)

Sorry I’m late, I was waiting for a good entrance line.

Panel 4

Static blasts a Traffic Man. Hardware fires a bolo shell that wraps up two others.

STATIC

But I saw you get killed!

SFX

(Static’s blast)

zZZRRAAK

SFX

(bolo)

whupwhupwhup

HARDWARE

Oh, please. That was a robot.

Panel 5

Interior HARDWARE’S LAB. Curtis Metcalf, legs still broken, is sitting in a high-tech Virtual Reality rig, his arms in the same pose as Hardware’s in the previous panel. On a SCREEN in front of him is Hardware’s point of view.

CURTIS

So is this one. I’m using a telepresence rig. My legs are broken, remember?

Page 9

Panel 1

Back at the fight. Hardware wrestles with two Traffic Men, he’s facing panel left. Panel right, IOTA is holding a BOWLING BALL is GROWING in multiple images, from a spec on the floor. She’s up to about half-size, and grinning.

HARDWARE

Unfortunately, I’m down to my last working model. So I’m going to need a little help, here.

IOTA

You called, sweetie?

Panel 2

Full-size Iota uses her bowling ball to clock one of the TRAFFIC MEN Hardware was struggling with.

SFX

THOK

HARDWARE

Good to see you, Iota. But you left the spare.

Panel 3

Static zooms in and blasts the last man.

STATIC

Got’ems.

SFX

ZZZRAKK

Panel 4

Hardware, Static and Iota stand talking to each other. Unconscious Traffic Men are all over the room.

IOTA

The rest of our people will be along presently. They’re following my beacon to this position.

STATIC

Well, Tower’s probably on his way too. We better jet.

Panel 5

Favoring Static. Iota is skeptical.

IOTA

John Tower?

STATIC

Yep, still alive. He’s the one behind all of this.

Page 10

Panel 1

Similar to previous.

IOTA

That simply cannot be true. John Tower has been a hero for generations. He’s the greatest of us all.

STATIC

Was. Now he ain’t nothing but a power junkie.

Panel 2

Favoring Hardware.

HARDWARE

Yep. And junkies steal. In this case, lives.

Panel 3

PANEL. Wide as all react to the HEROES arriving: IRON BUTTERFLY, GLORIA MUNDI and PAYBACK. Captions label the new guys.

CAPTION

Iron Butterfly.

CAPTION

Gloria Mundi.

CAPTION

Payback.

PAYBACK

You guys have been busy.

Panel 4

Favoring Iota.

IOTA

You didn’t do so badly yourselves, dears.

IRON BUTTERFLY

What is our battle plan?

Panel 5

Favoring Hardware. Payback frowns.

HARDWARE

We retreat. Their top man is way out of our weight class. We don’t have enough power to fight him.

PAYBACK

Where’s Blizten?

Page 11

Panel 1

Hardware explains to Payback.

HARDWARE

She was captured. We’ll come back for her, later. Right now we have to regroup, find more help.

Panel 2

FLASHBACK PANEL. Reminiscent of panel 3 page 18, Issue #1 Static’s’s big, panel left face dissolves into an image of DUSK bounding towards a burning building. Let’s go in closer on Dusk, this time and see her face.

OFF PANEL STATIC

Dusk, please! Don’t go back in! We got everybody, there’s no time!!

Panel 3

Similar to previous. Static is speaking now.

STATIC

No.

Panel 4

Wide on the group. Static on one side of the panel, everyone else on the other.

GLORIA

(ornate balloon and script)

I’m sorry. Did you say, “No”?

IRON BUTTERFLY

I understand your loyalty to our comrade. But in order to win the war, we must survive the battle.

Panel 5

Favoring Static, stubborn.

STATIC

Do what you want. I can’t leave Blitzen behind. The last time I didn’t go back for somebody, she died.

Panel 6

Wider. Iron Butterfly is irritated. Hardware.

IRON BUTTERFLY

That is irrational and futile. If we are ever to prevail, we will require your power.

HARDWARE

She’s right, kid. You stay here and fight, we’re pretty much [ed.

Page 12

Panel 1

Iron Butterfly looks at Hardware with irritation.

HARDWARE

So I guess what I’m saying is, I’ll stay too.

IRON BUTTERFLY

Hardly a sacrifice, as I sense your real body doesn’t reside within this shell.

HARDWARE

Never claimed to be noble.

Panel 2

Iron Butterfly has turned back towards Static. Payback is visible.

IRON BUTTERFLY

Nevertheless, I will also remain here and fight.

PAYBACK

Stop showboating, Kahina. We’re all staying.

Panel 3

Favoring Iota. Static explains.

IOTA

One assumes you have some sort of plan?

STATIC

Kinda. You guys mop up the rest of the Traffic Men. Keep them away from the torture chamber. I need maybe half an hour.

Panel 4

Gloria is curious. So is Payback. Static is still filled with resolve.

GLORIA

(ornate balloon and script)

And what will you do?

STATIC

I’ll take care of the Power Junkie.

PAYBACK

How?

Panel 5

Hardware has a hand on Static’s shoulder.

STATIC

I dunno. Reason with him?

HARDWARE

You got a lot of guts, kid.

STATIC

Yep, I don’t even know the meaning of the word “fear.”

Panel 6

Static flies away from the group.

STATIC

Which does not bode well for those fast-approaching SAT’s.

To Be Continued #2 – Introducing the author and his comic book resume, as fan and creator

April 8th, 2013 | Posted by Eugene Son in Columns and Essays

TO BE CONTINUED… was Dwayne’s weekly opinion column on the comic book industry, hosted by Psycomics.com from October 1999-February 2000. Pasted below was his second column, “Introducing the author and his comic book resume, as fan and creator.” Read on-

To Be Continued #2

I was at the corner store with my Dad. I’ve never liked candy but he was determined to get me something. He picked out a SUGAR AND SPIKE comic book. I don’t remember ever seeing a comic book before then, much less showing any interest in one. But as long as Dad was offering, I decided I prefered ADVENTURE COMICS, featuring the Legion of Super Heroes. My reasoning, as I recall, was that it contained more superheroes and therefore was a better value (in addition to which, the big fat guy who bounced like a ball seemed… intriguing). Anyway, Dad buckled under the pressure and bought both. By the time we got back to the car, I was hooked for life. And that’s when I fell in love with comic books.

I learned to read from comics. I learned to dream.

I imagined that babies could talk to each other, that men could fly. That good does triumph, inevitably, over evil.

When I got older, I wanted to be Spider-Man, because all the other kids thought he was a geek, too. Then I wanted to be the Black Panther, who possessed a dignity and strength that I wished were mine.

Comics took me to places that never existed and made me believe in things that could never be true.

But should have been.

Most of my old comics are landfill now. Although to be fair, Mom did warn me she’d toss them if I didn’t clean up my room that very moment. But it doesn’t really matter that I lost them because I remember. Those dreams will always be with me.

And then I got a chance to share my own dreams. Thanks to Greg Wright, I got a chance to pitch some SOLO AVENGERS stories to Marvel Comics. A few weeks later, I created and wrote DAMAGE CONTROL, a sit-com set in the Marvel Universe about an engineering firm who cleaned up the debris left behind after all those senses-shattering battles. A little later, I joined Marvel’s staff as an assistant editor to Bob Budianski. I worked on Movie tie-ins, Marvel Press Posters, trading cards, toys, licensing guides -pretty much anything that wasn’t a regular monthly comic. While I was there, I continued to freelance as a writer, turning in scripts for SHE-HULK, IRON MAN, DOUBLE DRAGON, AVENGERS SPOTLIGHT, MARVEL SUPER HEROES, POWER PACK, GIANT MAN, ST. GEORGE, HELLRAISER, CAPTAIN MARVEL, WHAT IF?, WEST COAST AVENGERS and several SPIDER-MAN “custom comics,” (you know, like SPIDER-MAN AND WHITNEY HOUSTON FOR UNICEF). I also got to write my personal favorite, DEATHLOK.

After leaving staff, I kept working doing freelance for Marvel but I also branched out to do work for other companies. I wrote PRINCE and THE DEMON for DC Comics; MONSTER IN MY POCKET, BACK TO THE FUTURE (where the movie’s screenwriter, Bob Gale had the annoying habit of correctly pointing out which of my jokes were lame) and ULTRAMAN for Harvey Comics; and SOLAR, THE TICK and X-O MANOWAR for Valliant/Acclaim. In-between, I wrote and edited comics for several other companies, too.

I’m probably best known for teaming up with Denys Cowan, Derek Dingle and Michael Davis to form our company, Milestone Media, Inc. I served as Editor-In-Chief and created or co-created ICON, HARDWARE, STATIC, BLOOD SYNDICATE, XOMBI, SHADOW CABINET, DEATH WISH, WISE SON, HEROES and the rest of the Dakota Universe for Milestone. Milestone was an attempt to have greater creative control over our work and to increase the number of minority characters and creators in the field. These goals were widely, and sometimes willfully, misunderstood. I’m sure I’ll talk about this some more in future columns. For now, I want to focus on the pleasant side of it all. Over the course of Milestone Comics’ four-year run, I was privileged to work with dozens of terrific creators, making some damn fine comics. With any luck, we’ll see those characters again one day. As rough a run as it was for me personally, I’m still in love with comics and making them for Milestone is still the most fun I’ve had in my entire professional life.

Almost as much fun as reading SUGAR AND SPIKE.

***

I guess the point of all that was to demonstrate that when I talk about comics, I can speak from any of a number of different perspectives. I’ve been a fan, who couldn’t understand why the companies were doing such awful things to my favorite titles. I’ve been a writer, who was sure that my editor was screwing up my work on purpose, simply to torture me. I’ve been an editor, frustrated by the unreasonable and incomprehensible demands of my publisher on one side, and the petulant refusal by my creative team to do anything I asked them to do, ever, on the other. I’ve been a publisher, trying to make payroll while wondering why my editors seem determined to run stories that drive away advertisers, while refusing to take the very sensible action of doing a company-wide crossover every month. Whichever hat I’m wearing at any given moment, I think the other three guys are the worst possible combination of insane and incompetent. It’s probably not that simple. On the other hand, I’ve been wrong before. We’ll talk it over in the weeks and months to come.

***

Next time, I’m going to tell you about an endless summer, blacks in comics, the Incredible Hulk vs. the Mighty Thor, a trip to the “good comic store” and most importantly of all, how Don McGregor’s BLACK PANTHER changed my life. Until then, this is TO BE CONTINUED…

Dwayne McDuffie, creator of DAMAGE CONTROL, ICON, XOMBI and STATIC, has gone to comic stores hundreds of times since that first one but he never again brought home so much good reading for a quarter. Or bought gum for his cousin Raynard with the change from the quarter.

Marvel: A Deathlok Retrospective

March 18th, 2013 | Posted by Eugene Son in Remembering Dwayne McDuffie

Marvel.com recently posted a terrific article about Dwayne McDuffie’s work at Marvel Comics with Deathlok.

A Deathlok Retrospective
Writer Gregory Wright looks back at his classic collaboration with the late Dwayne McDuffie.

http://marvel.com/news/story/20290/a_deathlok_retrospective

Highly recommended reading.

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TV Script – Ben 10 Ultimate Alien – “Fame”

February 25th, 2013 | Posted by Eugene Son in Scripts

Random script of Dwayne McDuffie’s that I found. This is an early draft of what was then titled, “Ben 10: Ultimatrix” – that was later renamed to “Ben 10: Ultimate Alien.” This is script #1 – titled “Fame” – and was dated June 20, 2009.

TEASER

A SERIES OF ANGLES

Beginning with a stock Photo of EARTH FROM SPACE.

JIMMY (V.O.)

The aliens are already among us...

They’re all REUSE, perhaps doctored to look less slick. Try to make them all single angle.

GOOP deforms himself.

HUMONGOUSAUR smashes something.

A blurry, still photo of WILDMUTT (REUSE from original series). Ken Burns across it, like a doccumentary filmaker pretending there’s some action.

A short clip of SWAMPFIRE, making giant vines do his bidding.

A still of BRAINSTORM.

ECHO ECHO multiplies.

JIMMY (V.O.)

Strange creatures, with unbelievable powers...

JETRAY flies above, the camera struggles to find focus and keep him in view.

KEVIN, in Alien Force season 3 Monster Form, uses a hammer hand to smash something.

CANNONBOLT rolls up and rolls off.

JIMMY

Aliens are real. But that isn’t the amazing part, this is:

A rapid series of stills, ALL of Ben’s transformtions (except for Alien X), plus Kevin’s monster form, and a couple of randomly-distributed red herrings (The Dragon, Argit and Heatblast II) dissolve from one to the next.

JIMMY

All of the creatures you’ve just seen are actually alter-egos of one man...

The final image is a still of BEN TENNYSON, looking up at a camera, surprised and a bit goofy.

JIMMY (V.O.)

...His name is Ben Tennyson.

The image of Ben holds as we...

FADE OUT.

END OF TEASER

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

INT. BEN’S ROOM – DAY

ON THE TV MONITOR. A freeze-frame of the last image of the teaser: Ben Tennyson looking up at a camera, surprised and a bit goofy.

WIDE

Kevin, Ben, and GWEN have Been watching TV.

KEVIN

You are so busted.

BEN

Yeah...

Back on the TV.

KEVIN

And goofy-lookin’.

Ben frowns at the TV.

BEN

That’s not my best angle.

Gwen changes the channel several times with the REMOTE. We see:

HUMONGOUSAUR with his foot stuck in a car he stepped on, he’s hopping around trying to shake the car off like a kid trying to remove a rubber bootie.

Gwen frowns, pursing her lips, and changes the channel again. We see:

RATH falling out of the air from high above, it’s like the Hulk coming in for a landing on a long leap. He lands on a FREEWAY OVERPASS. And plows right THROUGH it, demolishing it into a pile of rubble as he lands on the road below.

GWEN

Every channel, Ben. All weekend. Nothing but you wrecking things. And they know who you are!

BEN

Nobody cares if I’m a super hero.

KEVIN

(helpfully)

Super menace.

Ben opens the door. There’s a dozen PAPARAZZI right there, all reacting by pointing cameras and microphones at him. He’s blinded by the camera FLASHES.

PAPARAZZI

[WALLA: “Ben Tennyson!”/”Ben 10!”/I”s it true?”/”Are you an alien monster?”/”Do you want to take over the Earth?”/et cetera]

Ben shuts the door in their faces, shutting out the noise

BEN

Okay, maybe a few people care.

KEVIN

You should lie low for a while. Maybe go to Julie’s.

Gwen peeks out the curtains and frowns as she looks out the window at the Paparrazzi.

GWEN

Good idea, but how do you get past them?

Ben grins, disconcertingly.

EXT. BEN’S HOUSE – DAY

The front door OPENS, and Ben comes outside. The paparazzi leap into action, crowding Ben, taking pictures and pushing camera’s and microphones into his face.

PAPARAZZI

[excited WALLA: “There he is!”/ “Ben Tennyson!”/ “Mr. Tennyson, do you have a statement?”]

Ben reaches over and takes one of the Microphones.

BEN

Yeah: It’s hero time!

Ben ACTIVATES his Ultimatrix, TRANSFORMS into HUMONGOUSAUR and ROARS. We should try to get the transforming Ben/Humongousaur and the stunned Paparazi into a single shot at least once for Promo.

HUMONGOUSAUR

Humongousaur!

The Paparazzi panic and FLEE for their lives.

PAPARAZZI

[SCREAMS and WALLA: “Run!”/ “He’s a Monster!”]

As the last of the Paparazzi disperse, Gwen and Kevin walk out the front door.

HUMONGOUSAUR

[ROARS, then COUGHS]

Humongousaur REVERTS to Ben, still coughing.

BEN

[Coughs]

Still looking at the fleeing press corps, Ben puts out a hand.

BEN

Hey, Gwen? You got a cough drop? Growling’s rough on my throat.

Gwen hands him one, he takes it without looking.

KEVIN

You should have used one of your new Ultimate transformations.

Ben frowns.

BEN

I wanted to scare them, not me.

INT. JULIE’S LIVINGROOM – DAY

Ben and Julie are in the living room. They are eating fresh Popcorn from a big bowl.

BEN

Thanks for letting me hang out, Julie.

JULIE

I have to go to tennis practice in an hour, but you can stay here until I get back.

They both hop on the couch. Julie turns on the TV.

BEN

Cable news?

JULIE

Extra credit for AP Current Events.

She looks at the screen and pouts.

JULIE

Ooh! This guy hates you.

THE WILL HARANGUE NATION

It’s a cable news editorial show, a middle-aged white guy in a suit, at a desk. He’s generally pretty upset. His video backdrop changes from his show logo to the picture of Ben looking stupid.

HARANGUE

...welcome back to the Will Harangue Nation. Our top story? It’s gotta be Ben Tennyson, a 16 year-old high school student who has been outed as a one-man -or should I say boy?- alien invasion.

BEN

Why does everybody use that picture?

JULIE

You look cute in that one.

BEN

(relaxing)

Really?

JULIE

Yes! Sweet and goofy.

BEN

[low growl]

Essay: “Catching Lightning in a Bottle (and Other Moral Victories)”

February 4th, 2013 | Posted by Eugene Son in Columns and Essays

Dwayne wrote this, explaining-

“Catching Lightning in a Bottle” is both an introduction to the STATIC SHOCK: TRIAL BY FIRE compilation, it also sort of serves as a FAQ about the origins of the chracter.


Catching Lightning in a Bottle (and Other Moral Victories)

If you’re a STATIC fan from back in the day, it’s good to see you again. I know we’ve got a lot of catching up to do but first I want to welcome our new readers, who probably only know about Static from the TV show. I’m going to take a moment and bring them up to speed. I know, I know but we’ve waited over three years for this moment, what’s another few hundred words? Just bear with me, won’t you?

I have a good friend who is fond of repeating the aphorism, “moral victories don’t count.” I couldn’t disagree more, not only do they count but in the long run, they’re the only kind that matter. Case in point: Milestone Comics. In 1992, I joined forces with three extraordinary men, together we set out to change the face of the comic book industry. This proved to be somewhat more difficult than we had anticipated.

Although Milestone’s sales were always respectable, we never set the world on fire. Our books lacked the speculator heat and collectable foil covers that drove the market in those days. Moreover a small but vocal group of people, including some readers, retailers and fellow professionals, found our very existence suspect. All sorts of bizarre, even sinister, motives were attributed to us. We battled against those impressions when we had the time but mostly we kept our eye on the ball. We figured our product would speak for itself, if we got it out there. So we did, every month for five years. Good comics, exactly the way we wanted to do them. Moral victory, folks.

Milestone’s story is an adventure worthy of any of our heroes. Against enormous odds we set out to accomplish something both unprecedented and important. The results were 250 comics that respected our readers’ intelligence, from a company dedicated to the idea that if you want fresh water, you have to draw from new wells. STATIC is character-driven, exciting, inventive and above all fun, as good an example of our values as one could choose. It’s a particularly fitting standard-bearer for what we hope will be Milestone’s 21st century renaissance. With the rebirth of STATIC as STATIC SHOCK!, the adventure continues.

STATIC SHOCK!: TRIAL BY FIRE is the long-overdue collection of the first four issues of the late, lamented STATIC monthly comic, created by Milestone and distributed by our long-time partners at DC Comics. In my years as Milestone’s Editor-In-Chief, I’ve made my share of mistakes, ask anybody. But on occasion, I’ve also shown flashes of inexplicable brilliance. STATIC was the occasion for a number of such flashes. I had already written the series bible (which included beautiful character designs by co-creator Denys Cowan) as well as Static’s origin story arc for the first four issues when I belatedly realized that there was no way I could write four books a month (I was already writing HARDWARE and ICON and co-writing BLOOD SYNDICATE) while simultaneously learning how to run a comic book company. I needed help. That’s when I had my first really good idea.

I’ve known Robert L. Washington III since he was about eight years old. Even as a child he was one of the most brilliantly creative people I’d ever met. I’d caught up with Bob again after he grew up and moved to New York. Only a couple years earlier, I’d introduced him around at Marvel Comics. He’d had a couple of nibbles but hadn’t yet landed a major assignment. All the better for me.

Bob took my outline and ran with it, adding his own totally unique spin to STATIC. In addition to frequently topping my one-liners with better ones, he reworked our villain Hotstreak (you probably know him as F-Stop), adding the very cool gimmick that Static deduces in issue #2. He created Tarmack out of whole cloth. He replaced Static’s brother with two sisters (the second sister seems to have gone the way of Richie Cunningham’s big brother on HAPPY DAYS). He gifted Virgil with his own encyclopedic knowledge of comics, sci-fi, gaming and other fan-boy ephemera. And when I told him that I wanted this series to be as much about Virgil and his friends as about Static and his adventures, Bob made me watch about 18 hours of DIGRASSI JR. HIGH. Much cribbing ensued.

After co-scripting the story you’re about to read, I left STATIC in Bob’s obscenely talented hands. If this collection does well, perhaps future volumes will collect Bob’s solo work on this title. I know I’m not alone in my desire to see it all in print.

My second really good idea was listening to my old Milestone partner Michael Davis, who brought to my attention an incredible young artist named John Paul Leon. These days, John is best known as the artist of Alex Ross’ EARTH-X. Back then, all he had was a portfolio full of Xeroxed samples. Really good Xeroxed samples.

I’m told that John doesn’t like to look at his early work anymore. While I’ll stipulate that his talent has grown tremendously since 1993, I don’t care what he says, I adore this stuff. As you will plainly see, when John drew the first four issues of STATIC, he was already a genius. He’s an expert storyteller who creates living, breathing characters. He can draw action and he can draw human drama. He can make a bad scene work and a good scene sing. Best of all, while some of his influences might be apparent, even at this early stage of his career John’s stuff doesn’t look like anyone else’s.

Before I slip a disc from patting myself on the back for all my good ideas, I should direct your attention to the rest of the STATIC team. Veteran inker Steve Mitchell helped our talented newcomer past some of the rough spots and just generally made great pages look even better. Color Editor Noelle C. Giddings hand-painted these comics, routinely achieving the kind of look usually found in top of the line graphic novels. Letterer Steve Hayne somehow found room for way too much dialog and still managed to keep it off of the art. Shawn Martinbrough pitched in with an ink job that foreshadowed his own remarkable talents. STATIC is a three time winner of Parents’ Choice Honors and also racked up 5 on-line fan awards, including two for “best new character.” Hardly surprising results from a team this good.

A final note to our new readers, if you only know Static from the show, you’ll quickly notice some differences between what you’re about to read and the Static you’re acquainted with. Don’t study on it, the differences are superficial. In every important way, this is the Static you’ve come to know and love, only more so. Consider this a hit of uncut funk.

If, after reading TRIAL BY FIRE, you find yourself craving more STATIC SHOCK! (which, of course, you will) you can watch his animated adventures every Saturday on the Kids WB! And if that’s still not enough, I’ve re-teamed with John Paul Leon for the all-new STATIC SHOCK!: REBIRTH OF THE COOL mini-series, on sale very soon. Get it wherever you bought this book.

With the continued support of fans like you, our moral victory can eventually be counted as a victory of the other kind. will our succès d’estime be reborn as a big fat commercial hit? We hope so. And you know what that would mean, right?

More new adventures.

It’s all in your hands again, folks. Enjoy.

Dwayne McDuffie
Chicago, IL
June 8, 2000

Dwayne McDuffie is the co-creator of STATIC, the Milestone Universe and Marvel Comics’ DAMAGE CONTROL. He has written several episodes of the STATIC SHOCK! animated series and continues to serve as Milestone’s Editor-In-Chief.

, ,

Fantastic Four #547: “Never Ask Her If She’s Wearing Colored Contact Lenses”

January 14th, 2013 | Posted by Eugene Son in Scripts

Fantastic Four #547

An excerpt from Dwayne’s script for Fantastic Four #547 titled, “Never Ask Her If She’s Wearing Colored Contact Lenses”.

I love this script because it just shows how well Dwayne could write characters. Even super-heroes have downtime, and the conversations and relationships here are so real and so hysterical.

I told Dwayne how much I loved pages 6 and 7 with the Thing and Storm. He laughed because someone online had complained about the scene – arguing that a woman would never be bothered by people talking about her looks behind her back. Dwayne’s incredulous reaction was, “You don’t know very many women, do you?”

This is from his First Draft, dated 4/18/07. The document header has an earlier version of the title, “And You’re Sure You Don’t Wear Colored Contacts?”

Page 1

PANEL 1

Johnny leans against the wall, he’s flirting with two Dora Milaje, who are deadpan as they guard a closed door.

CAPTION

New York City, The Baxter Building......

JOHNNY

...So, we’re in this other dimension right? It’s like a parallel Earth.

PANEL 2

Favoring Johnny, closer as he continues his story. He’s smiling, the Dora Milaje closest to him maintains her deadpan.

JOHNNY

But everybody’s been turned into zombies. It’s like Shaun of the Dead.

PANEL 3

Johnny is suddenly serious.

JOHNNY

Except it wasn’t funny at all.

PANEL 4

Wider. Johnny is thoughtful.

JOHNNY

Everywhere you looked, twisted versions of people you thought you knew, acting in ways you never thought they would.

PANEL 5

New angle, the door is open and the Dora Milaje have stepped aside for the Black Panther, in full ceremonial dress, but his mask is off.

PANTHER

Ease your mind, Johnny. I learned a great deal on our extradimensional trip.

Page 2

PANEL 1

Medium. Favoring Panther, resting his palm supportively on Johnny’s shoulder.

PANTHER

I’m in the process of putting together a contingency plan to make sure that it never happens here.

JOHNNY

Thanks, T’Challa. Could I ask you something else?

PANEL 2

Wide, favoring Johnny, he’s kidding around again.

JOHNNY

Do you really need two bodyguards just to go to the bathroom?

PANEL 3

Closer, Panther is almost smiling. Johnny is laughing

PANTHER

It is important that I not be disturbed as I attend to my kingly duties.

JOHNNY

Ha! You said “doodies.”

PANEL 4

Panther is walking away, the Dora Milaje block Johnny’s path.

PANTHER

I’m going to the UN for a few hours. I assume you’ll use the time to construct another of your sophisticated comedy gems.

JOHNNY

Like always.

PANEL 5

Panther is gone. Johnny has turned his attention to one of the Dora Milaje. He is leaning towards her, touching her upper arm.

JOHNNY

Where were we? Oh, yeah.

JOHNNY

What would you say to a night on the town with the hottest super hero in North America?

PANEL 6

The Dora Milaje is twisting Johnny’s arm behind his back. It’s hurting him.

JOHNNY

Owww! I appreciate the enthusiasm but I’m not really into the rough stuff...

JOHNNY

(small lettering)

C’mon, let go! I think you’re dislocating my shoulder...

Page 3

SPLASH

Deep Space. The Solar Sail Ship is in the background. Reed Richards is stretching out of it into the foreground, where he is grabbing the ARTIFACT from page 11, panel 3 last issue. Reed’s still in his beach clothes, but it also still wearing his life-support bracelet.

CAPTION

The Solar System, somewhere between Saturn and Earth...

REED

Got it!

TALKING SHIP

Can I help?

REED

Just hold my feet, Sue. I’m bringing it in.

TITLE

RECONSTRUCTION, Chapter Four

TITLE

“Never Ask Her If She’s Wearing Colored Contact Lenses”

CREDITS

Dwayne McDuffie Writer

Paul Pelletier Penciller

Inker

Letterer

Colorist

Molly Lazer Assistant Editor

Tom Brevoort Editor

Joe Quesada Editor In Chief

and Dan Buckley Publisher

Page 4

PANEL 1

Reed is entering the ship, bearing the Artifact. It’s a little larger than a Trash Can. Sue is watching from behind a glass shield.

SUE

So, what is it?

REED

I don’t know. External scans indicate it’s a complex biochemical artifact.

PANEL 2

Reed is examining the Artifact with Kirbytech probes, lost in thought. Sue smiles maternally behind him.

REED

It’s constructed, not a life form but this is the most fascinating technology I’ve ever seen.

REED

It will require a great deal of study to--

PANEL 3

Reed twists his head back impossibly to look at Sue.

SUE

Two days.

REED

Pardon?

PANEL 4

Favoring Sue. She’s smiling, but she’s not kidding.

SUE

You’re the smartest man in the world. Two days is plenty of time for you to figure out what that thing is, determine if it’s a threat, neutralize it and--

PANEL 5

Both are smiling now.

REED

--get back to my wife on our second honeymoon.

SUE

I said you were smart.

Page 5

PANEL 1

Sue is in a space pod. Reed is just outside.

CAPTION

Shortly...

REED

You’re sure you don’t want to come along?

SUE

Positive. I’m going back to Titan to enjoy the view. Maybe I’ll finish reading “Against The Day”...

PANEL 2

Favoring Reed.

REED

The lifepod is set on autopilot. It’s pre-programmed to take you back to Mentor’s house. If there’s any problem--

SUE

If there’s any problem, I’m the Invisible Woman.

REED

Point taken.

PANEL 3

Closer on Sue.

SUE

I’ll see you Thursday. Don’t make me come looking for you.

REED

I’ll be there. I’ll bring flowers...

PANEL 4

Exterior the Solar Sail Ship as Sue’s Pod flies out and away from it.

TALKING LIFEPOD

Flowers are better when they’re a surprise.

TALKING SOLAR SAIL

Oh. Right. I’ll think of something else, then. I love you, Sue.

PANEL 5

Close on a silhouette of THE WIZARD, touching his fingertips as an evil smile lights his face. He’s in an unidentified high-tech lab.

TAILLESS RADIO BALLOON

I love you too, Reed.

WIZARD

I’ve got you now, Richards.

PANEL 6

Similar to previous.

WIZARD

We are underway. Proceed to Target 2. Coordinates follow.

Page 6

PANEL 1

Exterior of the Baxter Building.

TALKING BUILDING

(“Frosty” balloon shape)

I can’t believe you said that.

PANEL 2

Inside, Ben is taken aback by a regal and angry Ororo.

THING

I didn’t say it, I’m just telling you what Michael said.

ORORO

You can tell Michael Collins that my hair is completely natural.

PANEL 3

Favoring Ben, trying to back out of the hornet’s nest. Storm is holding up some of her hair, letting it fall through her fingers.

BEN

Okay, you know. Whatever. Sorry I brought it up.

ORORO

This is not a weave!

PANEL 4

Storm offers her hair to Ben.

ORORO

Go ahead.

BEN

Go ahead what?

PANEL 5

Favoring Storm.

ORORO

See for yourself. Pull my hair.

BEN

Are you nuts?

Page 7

PANEL 1

Wide as Storm puts her hair in a flabbergasted Ben’s hands.

ORORO

Hard as you want.

BEN

I don’t want!

ORORO

Do it.

PANEL 2

Ben is holding Storm up off the ground, dangling from one of his hands by her hair. Her arms are folded and she’s giving him the evil eye.

BEN

There. Happy now?

ORORO

I think I proved my point.

PANEL 3

The Panther has entered the shot. Ben, still holding her by her hair, is embarrassed.

BEN

T’Challa, I can explain...

PANTHER

Don’t bother. She’s very sensitive about her hair.

PANEL 4

Close on Panther.

PANTHER

Word of advice: As you value your life, never ask her if she’s wearing colored contact lenses.

OFF-PANEL ORORO

(burst)

I’m not!

PANEL 5

Panther has walked past Ben and Ororo. He is exiting the room without looking back.

PANTHER

I know, my love.

PANTHER

I’ll be back in time for a late supper. Have Omoro make reservations, he always knows the best places.

Edgewise #9 – Odds and ends. Whenever I do one of these columns, you know what that means…

December 24th, 2012 | Posted by Eugene Son in Columns and Essays

The last of Dwayne’s Science Fiction and Fantasy column, formerly hosted at FantasticCon.com-

Edgewise #9

This week, I misdirect your attention with some odds and ends, while I desperately try to think of something new to say about STAR WARS.

***

A number of readers seem to be under the impression that the title of this column is supposed to refer to either the tone of its contents or my demeanor. Nope. I think the pop culture sense of the word “edgy” went out with the macarena and anyway, I’ve been on my very best behavior here. Edgewise refers only to me getting a word in same.

***

A paragraph was dropped from my (mostly favorable) review of THE MATRIX. The gist of it was this; no conceivable variation of the line, “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto,” is clever. It wasn’t even clever in THE WIZARD OF OZ, where at it least had the virtue of freshness. Really, if that line is anywhere in your script? Cut it.

***

In the now-classic second installment of EDGEWISE, I inadvertently referred to the second movie in the PLANET OF THE APES series as “ESCAPE FROM THE PLANET OF THE APES.” Of course I meant to say “BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES.” This is the first error I’ve ever made in my entire life. Now I know how the rest of you must feel.

***

Apropos of nothing but the preceding item, John Rozum, writer of the late, lamented XOMBI and X-FILES comic books, used to refer to the seventies’ spin-off TV series as “Starsky and Hutch On The Planet Of The Apes.” It made me laugh.

***

I want to do a column about the single strangest show in TV history, LIDSVILLE but the cruel and tyrannical overlords at FANTASTICON claim this show is outside my purview. What do you guys think? It’s an action/adventure show about hats. I mean, c’mon!

***

The McDuffie Genius Grant is a cash award of one dollar American that I give solely at my own discretion to anyone who does something that I think is particularly bright. Today I’m announcing a special McDuffie Genius Grant to anyone who can figure out a plan to prevent the seemingly inevitable extinction of the comic book medium. If you can save my industry, I’ll pay you five bucks cash money from my own pocket. Serious inquiries only. And hurry, SPAWN’s under a hundred thousand copies a month, we can’t have much time left.

***

That about does me for this week, be here next time when I explain at length how STAR WARS ruined prose SF. Can THE PHANTOM EMPIRE make things any worse?

Dwayne McDuffie is the creator of DAMAGE CONTROL and the MILESTONE UNIVERSE. He once wrote a comic book where SPIDER-MAN called on the GHOST RIDER to help explain bicycle safety to children.

TV Script: Justice League “Brave and the Bold”

December 3rd, 2012 | Posted by Eugene Son in Scripts

This is an excerpt from the first Justice League episode that Dwayne wrote, “The Brave and the Bold: Part One.”

There’s no cover page on this script, so I don’t know if this was an early draft or a final record draft. I’m guessing this was written in 2001, but it’s undated.

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. DINER -- DAY

PUSH IN on a diner in Central City.

FLASH (VO)

So there I was... Cornered.

INT. A DINER – DAY

The FLASH is seated in a booth, near the front window. He’s shoveling unbelievable amounts of fast food into his face. Burger wrappers and milkshake cups litter the table. Flash is half-turned to face DEENA and DIANE, the two pretty girls he’s chatting up. The girls are seated at a table kitty-corner to his. They are completely unimpressed with him.

FLASH (CONT)

(mouth full)

Solomon Grundy thought he had the drop on me. But he didn’t. and do you know why?

The girls just exchange disgusted looks Flash loudly SLURPS on a straw.

FLASH

(loud SLURP!)

Because I’m the Flash --

FLASH/DEENA/DIANE

(in unison)

-- The fastest man alive!

DEENA

You told us.

FLASH

Did I?

He shrugs, and picks up another burger.

FLASH (CONT)

Anyway, so when Grundy tries to grab me, I...

All react to the sound of a CAR CRASH. Flash looks towards the big window.

REVERSE – FLASH’S P.O.V.

A speeding TRUCK (marked with Radioactive Materials symbols) plows into a small CAR, sending it spinning off the road and right towards the diner.

THE CAR crashes through the front window of the diner. It’s heading right for Flash and the girls.

FLASH

Look out!

In terror, DEENA covers her eyes with her hands.

DEENA

[frightened SCREAMS!]

The car’s skidding right at her, filling the frame.

Suddenly, a RED BLUR flashes through scene, and the girls are gone. The CAR smashes into the tables before coming to a stop.

Nearby, Flash stops on a dime and sets down the two girls who he has picked up, one under each arm.

FLASH

Would you excuse me?

Flash zips to the car and opens the car door. The DRIVER is safe, stopped by the car’s airbags.

FLASH (CONT)

Are you okay, man?

DRIVER

He’s a madman! Ran me right off the road. Someone’s gotta stop him!

FLASH

Right.

Flash pauses to pick an half-eaten burger off the hood of the car. Popping it his mouth, he turns and winks at the girls.

FLASH

(gulp!)

Later, ladies.

And Flash zooms out of the demolished storefront, leaving the girls staring off after him with looks of newly-kindled admiration on their faces. Diane shoots a look at Deena.

DIANE

And you didn’t want to give him our phone number.

CUT TO:

EXT. CENTRAL CITY – STREETS – DAY

Flash heads up the street, zigzagging through cars as he follows after the truck.

THE TRUCK swerves wildly as it speeds through traffic.

IN THE FRONT SEAT, an oddly-calm DRIVER (Dr. Chin, wearing a lab coat over his clothes) spots Flash in the rearview mirror. He nods to his equally emotionless PASSENGER who rides shotgun.

The Passenger is holding a high-tech ENERGY PISTOL. He leans out the window, turns and FIRES.

FLASH dodges the blast, which smashes into the ground, leaving a smoldering crater.

FLASH

Whoa!

The Passenger fires a VOLLEY of shots at Flash, continuing until the gun clicks twice. It’s empty. Flash dodges the barrage, only to find himself in the oncoming traffic lane. A speeding car is right there, even the Flash has no time to avoid it. The motorist leans on his horn.

FLASH

Oops! Sorry.

Flash runs right up the hood and down the back of the oncoming car, then swerves back into his lane.

Flash pours on the speed and rams into the side of the truck with his shoulder, just as it pulls onto a BRIDGE.

FLASH

Okay, pull over!

THE TRUCK swerves, shredding the guard rail in a shower of sparks.

The Driver turns the wheel back hard.

When he feels the truck beginning to push back, Flash releases it and slows down, allowing it to pull ahead again.

As he watches the truck spins wildly out of control and heads toward the guard rail.

FLASH

Uh-oh!

In a RED BLUR, Flash pulls both passengers free just as the truck CRASHES through the rail and tumbles off of the bridge towards the water far below.

FLASH

Gotcha!

Still holding the Driver and Passenger by their upper arms, Flash watches the truck fall.

An instant before it strikes the water, the TRUCK suddenly stops, suspended in mid-air in an EMERALD BEAM.

WIDE

To reveal GREEN LANTERN, hauling the truck back up, then depositing it on the side of the road with a beam from his power ring.

GREEN LANTERN

Lose something?

FLASH

I was handling it.

Green Lantern glances back at the swath of destruction Flash has left in his wake.

GREEN LANTERN

So I see.

FLASH

What are you doing here?

GREEN LANTERN

Responding to a police call. Someone hijacked a load of radioactive isotopes.

Green Lantern opens the rear doors of the Truck with his ring, revealing the missing ISOTOPES. Flash looks at the inside of the truck, then back at his two prisoners.

FLASH

No wonder these guys were in such a hurry.

The Passenger and Driver (Dr. Chin) both stare blankly at Green Lantern, blinking their eyes as if waking from sleep. They’re dazed and confused.

DR. CHIN

(waking GROAN)

Where am I?

FLASH

You hijacked a truck and drove it off a bridge. Any of this ringing a bell?

DR. CHIN

What?

GREEN LANTERN

Let’s see some ID.

Using his ring, Green Lantern takes Driver and Passenger’s wallets, then examines them.

GREEN LANTERN

Professor Arthur Chin and Doctor Mark Stevens. Both work at the River Bluffs Research Center where the isotopes were stolen from!

FLASH

And I feel guilty when I take paperclips from the Watchtower.

Green Lantern flashes him a sour look.

GREEN LANTERN

Let’s see if we can get to the bottom of this.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. RIVER BLUFFS RESEARCH CENTER – DAY

Establishing the scientific facility.

DR. CORWIN (O.S)

I’m sorry...

CUT TO:

INT. RIVER BLUFFS RESEARCH CENTER – DAY

Inside a spacious, high-tech laboratory, Green Lantern is talking to DR. SARA CORWIN (cool and intellectual, somewhat reminiscent of the tightly-bunned “Lilith Crane” from the old CHEERS series). Flash is wandering around the lab, gawking at some of the caged LAB ANIMALS.

DR. CORWIN (CONT’D)

I can’t explain their behavior. They’re both highly respected experts in their fields.

Green Lantern looks though a file folder, obviously the doctors’ records.

GREEN LANTERN

They certainly don’t fit the profile of armed robbers.

DR. CORWIN

To be fair, they’ve been under enormous pressure to finish their current project. It’s possible they simply snapped under the strain.

As Flash listens, he finds some bananas near the animal cages. Without thinking, he peels one and begins eating it.

GREEN LANTERN

What are they working on?

DR. CORWIN

That’s classified information.

Corwin snatches the folders out of his hands and walks away. As she stalks past Flash, he notices the Gorilla in the cage looking at him chewing on the banana. (NOTE: This is Grodd but the audience doesn’t know it yet). Flash offers a banana to the ape.

FLASH

Want one?

Corwin freezes in her tracks, wheels around and grabs the banana from Flash before the gorilla can take it.

FLASH

Hey!

Dr. Corwin points at a “DO NOT FEED THE LAB ANIMALS” sign.

DR. CORWIN

Out. Both of you. This interview is over.

They exchange looks and leave.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. A HOT DOG STAND NEAR THE PARK – DAY

Flash is loading up on snacks at a HOT DOG STAND, an impatient Green Lantern stands nearby.

GREEN LANTERN

Would you hurry up? We’re supposed to be conducting an investigation.

FLASH

Can I help it if I have a hyper-accelerated metabolism? Besides, it’s just a little snack.

Green Lantern looks askance at Flash’s enormous pile of Hot Dogs. Before he can retort, both react to three police cars screaming past with SIRENS wailing.

GREEN LANTERN

What now?

Then, they turn and see BYSTANDERS fleeing from the park.

BYSTANDERS

[terrified SCREAMS!]

BYSTANDER #1

There’s a gorilla on the loose!

FLASH

I’m on it!

Flash hands his precariously balanced mound of Hot Dogs to Green Lantern.

GREEN LANTERN

Wait, I’ll go --

Flash ZOOMS off. GL is talking to the empty air.

GREEN LANTERN

-- with you.

Green Lantern puts the hotdogs on the cart and is about to fly off when the HOT DOG VENDOR puts a hand on his forearm.

HOT DOG VENDOR

Not without paying for that.

GREEN LANTERN

But I have to...

The vendor frowns, and Green Lantern resignedly sighs.

GREEN LANTERN (CONT)

(SIGHS)

How much?

CUT TO:

EXT. CENTRAL CITY PARK – DAY

It’s pandemonium. The police have the exit to the park sealed off A SWAT OFFICER points as SOLOVAR (a different gorilla from the one in the last scene) runs through the park.

SWAT OFFICER

There he goes!

The officers fire a net which Solovar dodges.

Solovar scampers through a CHILDREN’S PLAYGROUND, using a chain link swing to propel him to 20 feet away, then gracefully and rapidly scampering up and over a set of hemispherical MONKEYBARS. A SMALL BOY who struggles to climb, watches Solovar pass him with genuine admiration.

SMALL BOY

Cool!

Solovar’s path is cut off by another group of policeman, closing in from the opposite direction.

POLICEMAN #1

We got him now!

He runs straight at them and at the last moment runs up nearby SLIDE. When he reaches the top, he LEAPS into the air, vaulting over the policemen’s heads and into a conveniently placed tree, abutting the park fence.

POLICEMEN

[startled CRY!]

EXT. STREET NEAR PARK

Leaping down from the tree to the other side of the Park Fence, Solovar looks back to see his pursuers trying to climb the fence after him.

Solovar races out to the street, where MID-LIFE CRISIS MAN (he’s balding, drinking designer coffee, wearing shades and expensive clothes that are too young for him) is starting up his little red convertible SPORTS CAR.

Solovar reaches into the car with his foot and picks Mid-life Crisis man up by the scruff of his neck.

MID-LIFE CRISIS MAN

Hey!

Solovar deposits Mid-life Crisis Man rump first on the sidewalk next to the car.

MID-LIFE CRISIS MAN

[impact grunt]

Solovar climbs into the tiny car, knees and elbows sticking out and DRIVES AWAY, just as some of the policemen arrive.

MID-LIFE CRISIS MAN

Stop him! My insurance doesn’t cover a second driver!

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET – DAY

In the sports car, Solovar weaves down the street, ignoring the stunned reactions and HORN HONKS of passers-by. After Solavar drives through, Flash zips in and reacts to the unlikely sight.

FLASH

Now there’s something you don’t see everyday.

Grabbing a RAKE from a gardener’s barrel, Flash accelerates and runs right up beside the car. Solovar reacts.

SOLOVAR

[grunt of surprise]

FLASH

Having fun, Mojo?

Solovar stomps down on the accelerator and tries to pull away from Flash. But the Scarlet Speedster hurls the rake down in front of the car.

The tires hit the upturned tines, and the tire blows.

SCREECH! The car swerves out of control and smashes into a dumpster in a nearby alley. SMASH!

When Flash runs up to the wreck, Solovar is stunned.

SOLOVAR

[dazed GROAN.]

Flash puts out a hand to soothe the dazed animal.

FLASH

Easy boy, we’ll have you back behind monkey bars before you know it.

Recovering, Solovar slaps Flash’s hand away.

SOLOVAR

Get your stinking paws off of me, you filthy Human!

Flash is stunned.

FLASH

Say what?

NEW ANGLE – TELESCOPIC VIEWFINDER MATTE

Find focus as Flash is centered in CROSS HAIRS.

REVERSE – A ROOFTOP

Where DR. CORWIN is carefully sighting a strange ENERGY RIFLE. She FIRES.

BACK ON THE STREET

Flash is ZAPPED by the discharge from the energy rifle.

FLASH

[cry of pain]

CUT TO:

INT. FLASH’S MIND – CONTINUOUS

Flash falls through a black void. LIGHTNING BOLTS crackle, tearing off his uniform as he tumbles, WALLY WEST’S FACE is revealed to the camera, visible under his shredded mask.

FLASH

[falling cry]

DISSOLVE TO:

A LABORATORY – NIGHT

Wally, dressed in street clothes, is standing in front of a rack of chemicals. LIGHTNING STRIKES through the window and hits both Wally and the chemicals.

FLASH

[pained CRY!]

A LIGHTNING FLASH WIPE TO:

A BLACK VOID

CLOSE on lightning bolt logo on his chest, PULL BACK to reveal Wally is in his Flash costume. He pulls the cowl over his face and SPEEDS AWAY, leaving burning tread marks behind.

But as Flash runs, his body is SWELLING, getting fatter and fatter with every step. He’s slowing down, too heavy to run.

FLASH

[HUFFING & PUFFING!]

Fat Flash stops in front of a conveniently placed MIRROR.

FLASH

(filtered)

No!

Flash backs away from the mirror.

WIDER to reveal a series of three FUNHOUSE MIRRORS. Flash turns toward the second one.

FLASH’S P.O.V.

Looking in the mirror. Flash looks tall and thin.

Flash turns toward the THIRD MIRROR. His body looks normal but his HEAD IS GIGANTIC. He touches it. Wait a minute. It is big. Flash steps back from the mirror.

NEW ANGLE – WIDER

BIG-HEAD FLASH cradles his genuinely gigantic head. His head begins to swell ever larger, until it EXPLODES.

CUT TO:

BLACK VOID – CONTINUOUS

Flash is normal now and relieved. As he feels his head, his hands shift shape and GROW FUR. Flash’s costume rips as he TRANSFORMS into FLASH GORILLA.

FLASH GORILLA pounds his chest, throws back his head and ROARS in terror.

FLASH GORILLA

[roar]

Flash Gorilla can’t move his arms. Suddenly, he realizes that he’s no longer a gorilla, he’s a MANEQUIN, dancing on the ends of wires. He looks up into the sky to see the wires leading up to the puppet master, it’s a gigantic GORILLA GRODD FACE AND HANDS, looking down malevolently as he works Flash’s controls.

BUM (O.S.)

Hey! Wake up! --

MATCH CUT TO:

INT. JAIL CELL – DAY

A weathered old BUM is looking down at the camera.

FLASH (O.S.)

Huh?

WIDE – JAIL CELL – CONTINUOUS

Flash is sleeping, stretched across the bench in the holding cell. The BUM is shaking him awake.

BUM

C’mon, you’re in my spot!

Flash sits up, still dazed.

FLASH

Where am I?

Edgewise #8 – More STAR TREK movies. What has the author gotten himself into?

November 12th, 2012 | Posted by Eugene Son in Columns and Essays

More of Dwayne’s Science Fiction and Fantasy column, formerly hosted at FantasticCon.com.

One editor’s note – I’m fairly certain Dwayne made a typo in the story below about Halle Berry. It was Star Trek VI, not V, where he had his hilariously loud encounter with Halle Berry. But that’s a story for a future blog. Back to Dwayne’s column-

Edgewise #8

As I’m writing this, THE PHANTOM MENACE is still over a week away and that means just one thing. Yes, it’s back to my seemingly endless overview of Star Trek.

I’ve previously reviewed STAR TREK, the original series (thumb’s up) and STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE (thumb dislocated). Let’s whip through as many movies as we can this week, shall we?

STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN

This is probably the best of the movies, although I’ll accept arguments for IV. The cast is all in fine form, everybody’s got at least one good bit and Ricardo Montalban’s Khan is the single best villain in the entire series. Let’s face it, Mr. Roarke’s got it all. He’s got the accent, he’s got the pecs, he’s got the worm that crawls in your ear and later crawls out for no adequately explained reason unless, like Paul Winfield, you shoot yourself with a phaser first (And how cool was that?). Also, everybody gets jackets and Mr. Spock dies for a while. Rent it and watch it again. It’s still good.

STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK

It’s an odd-numbered one. Nothing more need be said but why let that stop me? They find him. Big surprise. What we’re they going to do, give us all our money back afterwards? Maybe they should have anyway.

STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME

They have to go back in time to get a whale. Unlike the previous entry, this one’s funny on purpose. I laughed a lot but I still wonder what the whale said to the pissed-off cosmic thingy that came to Earth looking for its buds, the whales. “Don’t worry about it, big guy, the humans hunted us to extinction. Go home.”

STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER

This is the worst movie I’ve ever seen that didn’t have Jeff Conaway in it. On the other hand, at the premiere, big-time movie star Halle Barry mistook me for Michael Dorn (the actor who plays “Worf”). Like I was going to correct her. On second thought, it was a fine film.

STAR TREK IV: THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY

This should have been the last time we saw the original cast. A very strong entry, entertaining and thematically sound, it was both textually and metatextually a fitting send-off for our old friends. So of course they had to go to the well just one more time…

But my review of STAR TREK: GENERATIONS, and my fan boy scheme to ret-con it out of existence, will have to wait for a couple of weeks. Next time, I’ll talk about STAR WARS, if I can get a ticket. Two weeks hence, we’re back in the saddle with a quick pass at the rest of the STAR TREK movies and a look at STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION.

Dwayne McDuffie is the creator of DAMAGE CONTROL and the MILESTONE UNIVERSE. If you know Halle Berry, please don’t tell her that was me.